Friday, 21 September 2007

A bit different.

As I've been signed off work, and can't recount the daft stuff that happens at work every know and again, I thought I'd share with you this piece of free writing I did. I asked my pal, Blue, for a word, then the idea is you write for 30 minutes. Starting from the given word, you just write, and follow where the word takes you. I thought this one is worth sharing.

They come in all shapes and sizes. If you’ve seen Bridget Jones, (crosses fingers as protection,) you’ll know that some people have different knickers for different occasions. When I saw this I didn’t quite understand it at all, after all, they are there to keep your bum covered up…..but now perhaps I am guilty of having different knickers for different occasions. I do have some that I would never wear to work. I don’t know why, cos there is no chance anyone would see them, unlike the kids. Some of the girls wear hipster trousers, with thongs visible, and why is it always the fat, unattractive ones who probably would crawl under the nearest rock if they knew their thong was visible …why is always their thong that shows?
Yes…I do have a thong, two actually, but they came as part of a “set”, I would not have bought them, and I did wear one of them once…just to see if it was comfortable. They must have been designed by a man, as no right minded woman would subject other women to wearing something akin to a piece of dental floss, and like dental floss….they cut in…if not in the right place. (I found this out in around an hour….then chucked them in the wash.) My daughter has a thong…and when I first saw it….I asked her how far she could throw stones with it.
Nobody wears knickers like the ones my grandma used to wear…bigger than Bridget Jones’ “big knickers”….I remember seeing them on the washing line…so much fabric in them that they needed ironing…pink, flannelette with longish cuffed legs. Even the awful knickers I had to wear as part of the uniform at ghastly Astley weren’t as bad as those, but they were green flannel.with elasticated legs and waist. When we did PE, indoor, if we didn’t have our leotards…we were expected to put on the aertex blouse, and strip to our knickers. It was a girl’s that is what we did. And if you didn’t have the right knickers on, you got detention. Lastly, it used to be a word that you would shout at someone in defiance, but I ain’t heard it for many a year. If you ask my brother about knickers.and to recall a childhood incident, he would say me running around at about age 7 in just a pair of red knickers on the beach one hot summer…..they were shorts..Not knickers…Mum would never have bought us red knickers. Then when at ghastly Astley..There was a song in the charts called “Jump up and down, wave your knickers in the air”. I remember some of the girls in my form climbing out of the form room window and singing and dancing to it as a dare one day.

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