Tuesday 12 March 2013

How do you define "first love"?

A comment prompted this post. In a previous post "Best music ever", I wrote about a lovely piece of music that brings back memories of my first real love.
I didn't name them, or how the music related to memories.  OK, I did put that the person in question had just re-married.  But in this day and age, there are so many people who re-marry.  And at my age, if I met a man who had NO history, I'll be frank, I'd be extremely suspicious and steer a wide berth of him.
My first love was the innocent type and the most daring thing we did was share a kiss, just a kiss, nothing intense at all.  We'd been for a walk around where he lived, and still lives now, and it was time for my Dad to collect me...so...a quick kiss on the lips before I left.  After that day we were never even in touch with each other until around 29-30 years later.  Again, all we did was chat, but due to advanced technology, via e-mail.  And most of the time we just chatted about when we were young.  Yes, when we'd been teenagers we'd danced together at parties  that we'd both been invited to, but proper waltzing, and a bit of disco dancing.   Until I was about to move away I had no idea he thought anything of me other than "one of the boys/group", (I was a terrible tomboy back then,) but was OK with dancing with him.  I thought he had no idea that I really liked him, turned out he didn't and thought I was "too clever" for him.  (I went to a grammar school, he went to a comprehensive school,).  I just thought I was too bookish and mousy to be even noticed.  When we both sussed out that we liked each other, there was only three weeks before I was due to move away.  So, we didn't see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, yet we wrote to each other for a while and eventually met for the only date we ever had.  So, yes, he was my first proper love. The music will always make me think of him, as he is a musician, and it never fails to make me smile.  And if anyone in either his life or mine has a problem with that.....well, they don't understand how innocent my first love was.
A memory of your first love is precious and in my case there is no reason for anyone to resent that the person in question was my first love.

4 comments:

walker531 said...

You are right. Things like this wouldn't be a problem for me and I wouldn't have thought that they would for anyone else unless they feel insecure, but perhaps I shouldn't presume to speak for others, so it is probably best to deal with things discreetly or possibly even let sleeping dogs lie (as our's is doing at the moment). Although I am definitely not musical (I wouldn't know one end of a long brass instrument from the other), it's interesting how a piece of music can evoke a memory so strongly and suddenly, and take you back so clearly, even if it's to something, or someone, that you no longer know. I have some music which isn't broadcast anywhere, and was probably never 'cool' enough to be (although I still think that his music is very impressive), which I hadn't listened to for a long (long) time but when I played it again for the first time a couple of years ago it took me straight back to my first love. This was quite a surprise. It was also quite a surprise that it brought back only good memories. I actually feel strangely warm and comforted (with perhaps just a tinge of sadness) when I play it now, particularly if the lights are down low. [that's weird, one of the tracks has just started playing on my iPhone which is set on random. Given the huge number of tracks on there, it's quite a coincidence]
I find that suddenly being taken back can also happen for other very special key life events by other strong images, such as seeing a place that you haven't been to for a long time, or certain flowers suddenly coming out and carpeting the woods in a sea of blue. These are probably strong personalized triggers, as even other people who were involved probably wouldn't make a link. The sub-conscious is a strange, powerful thing.

Sea said...

Nice to know that other things trigger pleasant memories. And a wood carpeted with blue flowers brings back good memories for me :)

walker531 said...

That's a nice smile

walker531 said...

That's a nice smile