Wednesday, 13 June 2012

After divorce for children

I can't find a related article to this posting, but it has been on the radio all day.
The courts are trying to stop children becoming estranged from their "non-resident" parent after divorce. [Usually the Dad, hence the rise of "Fathers for Justice".]
I suppose my three, the youngest now being 19 are lucky in this respect, although our divorce was one which involved no third party, my ex did not want to see the children at first. Despite an agreement being reached at mediation.  Before any divorced fathers start muttering. It was my ex's decision not to see the children, and for around 6 weeks he didn't.
But as I say, my three are lucky, because we only live 5 miles apart. I spoke to their Dad, and pointed out that he was their Dad and should see them, and he didn't stop being their Dad when we stopped being married.  At first visits were short, but a routine soon settled, and the elder two still make sure they see Dad.  They get on very well together.
But I put aside my personal feelings so that they could see their Dad, not everyone does, or is able to. 
If one of the couple has cheated/played away, however you want to think of it, that can cause deep rooted ill feeling on one or both sides. Mediation is needed for amicable agreements to be reached. Personal feelings have to be put aside for the good of the children.  Plus, the single/divorced mother if able to do this would be able to maintain a positive role model in her children's lives.  I know my ex became a more "hands on" parent after divorce, through necessity, but it befitted the children.  I also happen to think that mediation should involve grandparents, but that is another blog my ex's Dad commented when he found out about the pending divorce that I needed locking up...a Victorian outlook if ever there was the Moor Hospital, (local madhouse, as was,) my crime?....applying for divorce.

1 comment:

Blue said...

Yours is only the second divorce I've ever known that had an amicable ending. I wish more were like yours.