Getting my facts right.

Following on from Thursday's revelations, I sat down and made a list of facts that I need to find out, options that I need to explore.
I don't want to leave my job.  I love my job, no two days are the same, and quite often I'm asked to do x,y or z, and then left to my own devices as to how I actually do the job. Sometimes I have some guidelines, but often it's as vague as, we need something to do with cross curricular literacy for that noticeboard.  Another couple were filled with, something interesting related to Maths.
It was very interesting to, find an area of maths with something interesting, find an article, make it noticeboard friendly, ( I try to avoid solid chunks of text, as these don't capture the attention of the viewer,) diagrams and colour draw the eye.
I'm trying to stay positive, one colleague has told me that she'd "come knocking on" my door to help her.  It's lovely that the teaching staff are reacting in this way, but I don't think that the powers that be will be swayed.
Also, today I was going to show a student a recipe that might be useful for her exam. She wasn't there, so I made it up anyway, then let other students have some of it, (it was cream of tomato soup, the recipe claims it is the best ever).  The upshot of this was, one other student asked for the recipe, as she would like to make it for her exam.
Would you want to leave a job that gives you such positive vibes??

Waiting for the hatchet to fall

So....Monday of this week all the non-teaching staff get an email with the proposed restructuring of the staff.
My job is not on the new list.  The technician area is five less than currently.
Thursday we had the options laid before us.
If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I have some health issues.  Because of these I think that it might be extremely difficult for me to find another job.
So...I'm currently looking into what my options are, alongside which, I feel like I can't breathe, keep being sick and getting some chest pains, on top of everything else.
Maybe I should get myself signed off with stress, as at this point I really don't know how I got through the past week.
Maybe there will be a silver lining to this particular cloud I have hanging over me, but it's really hard to find it through the constant deluge from it.

How many times?

Every time that I think I am going to be OK, something comes along to make me worry .....yet again.
How many times do I have to prove that I can cope with things when they get tough?
At set periods of time throughout my life I've had to be strong, carry on, and cope. Surely there's been enough of this, but no....just when I start to think that although I might be bored to tears through being on my own, my life isn't so bad, and I might not have to worry about things......something comes along and upsets my calm.
They are restructuring the non-teaching staff structure at work, and we will find out the proposed staffing structure on the 18th.
But, we were emailed this news, not told directly, nor did the person who is named as sending the email the actual author of it!  Pretty bad form really.
I really wish that just for once in my life, I didn't have to worry about things.  I've proved repeatedly that I'm strong, but even the strongest things break if you test them too much.

Creative Swatch, or Edwin's exhibition

Yesterday evening I went to Edwin's exhibition of degree work.
It was titled "Creative Swatch", and was exhibiting the work of Edwin, and his cohort's degree work.
I bought a copy of his first comic, and a birthday card designed by another artist.
They must have had a brief to design cards for occasions, as several had displayed their cards. I was lucky enough to have a card designed by Edwin for Mother's day this year. Oliver and their Dad also got cards.
I was impressed by the quality of the art work on show.
We did have a look at some of the other areas, before going into the Creative Swatch exhibition.
It was good to see the results of what must have been some very hard work.
Well done Edwin, and all the others exhibiting.

Half term

Where does all the time go?
It doesn't seem to be that long since I posted about Spark, and here we are 3 and a 1/2 months later.
I've not been blogging much, as there hasn't been much to blog about.
Last Tuesday, Shadow went to a different groomer.  I was worried about her, as I'd been told that she " bit for fun".  This distressed me, and after I got her home from that appointment, I found two cuts on her.  Probably the reason why she wasn't happy.  She hasn't been happy going there since her claw broke inside her toe.  It does make me wonder if that is where it happened.
Anyway, I picked her up just over two hours after dropping her off, she was very happy, and the only odd thing she had done was "freeze" a couple of times.  She looks lovely.
Plans for this week, maybe trim Bertie Budelia back a little more. Do some knitting, maybe some sewing, just take things easy.

New puppy, or not?

I've been having a lot of trouble coping with my spinal stenosis, and it's getting me down.
Stuff that I took for granted is becoming more difficult to cope with.
And because of this, I have been questioning the sense in getting another dog.
When I am having a good day, I feel confident that I would be up to looking after another dog, plus I think Shadow gets lonely at times.
But yesterday, I seriously doubted myself.
It would help if I knew more about my condition.  To me it feels like it's getting harder to cope. Is it degenerative? Where do I find out? Are there any support groups.
I wasn't feeling that I can't go on any more, just that I need help learning to cope, which is very hard when you essentially live alone.
Oh! By the way! I was thinking that maybe a Bengal cat might be a good compromise.

Fed up

A year on from being diagnosed with spinal stenosis, I'm getting quite fed up.
Today, although I currently have an epidural pain relief injection working, it doesn't stop me trapping nerves.  It just means I don't have any pain.
But today, I couldn't put any weight on my leg, the muscle in my thigh was aching.
I would love to be rid of what is essentially a degenerative disease, but I need to learn to live with this.