gripe about our government

And who hasn't got a gripe about our "lovely" government?
Around two years ago....I thought that I would be eligible for retirement at 60 years old.....in the last 18-24 months this has gone up to 67/68 for me...the same length of time again.
I did see me retired and looking after grandchildren once or twice a week, but now all I see is me being too worn out to do anything but keep up with my housework.
I know this sounds like I am wallowing in self pity, but I have one degenerative condition...and I seriously can't see me being able to carry on working until I am 67/68 years old....plus...if we have to stay in work longer...where are the jobs for the students leaving school coming from? They won't be there, because people who should have qualified for their pensions are STILL working.
Mind you..on the plus side...time seems to go faster for me these days.
And if my grandchildren arrive before their grandma is able to care for them...at least once a week...I apologise in advance....I truly wanted to be there for you...look after you...show you how to bake..have some fun with you.....but by the time we spend time together...I'll be your annoying Grandma who you HAVE to go visit! Sorry on so many levels

Why bother asking?

Why do some people ask other people's opinions, and then go ahead and do as they planned, without taking into consideration the responses they got?
Or is it just my family thinking that what I think doesn't matter?
Do they just ask me, because it is expected of them?
They never take any notice of the responses they get from me.
I don't mean my children, I mean my siblings.
It always upsets me so much ...they used to push me about so they got what they wanted when we were young, doesn't seem to have changed with age.

been brave?

I have just replaced the bathroom pull switch, and a light bulb.
I know it doesn't sound very brave, but when I come out in a cold sweat climbing up a ladder, spending more than a couple of minutes up there is brave for me.

Going to have to visit the vet

I hadn't noticed, but you don't if you see someone or something every day. Spark has lost a lot of weight. It looks like I'll have to visit the vet with him, apart from the weight loss, he seems OK in himself. Now I've had it pointed out, am imagining all sorts.

What do people expect?

When all you've ever had from some people all your life is to be pushed aside, or ignored, or left to cope on your own, do the very people who have done that to you expect you to do as you are told, fit in and ask for help coping?
This is what has happened to me lately. And to be perfectly frank, I am finding it difficult enough coping alone without having to "share" with others...who I am sure haven't suggested me "sharing" with them for my own good, but suspect that they want me to "share" with them so that I can shoulder their "upsets and concerns", rather than have chance to share mine.
I have always tried to put others first, but at times when I find it difficult to cope, I turn into a hedgehog, curl up inside myself and hope my prickliness will keep others away.
After all, in the past, I have mistakenly thought people were being kind to me and found out that they weren't being in a very nasty way. What I mean is I have let people get close to me, and ended up being "kicked in the teeth". It's not me that's at fault...or at least not now. It is how I was brought up, stand on my own two feet, cope with the bad stuff alone, be pushed out by others and not complain, so the very people who made me like I am should not be surprised when I react as I do.

sleep loss

I have not been able to sleep as much these last couple of nights. After all..something bad happened while I was asleep.
Perhaps that is why I am finding it hard to sleep?

So sad

It's never good when someone calls you in the middle of the night.
Around half an hour ago the phone rang here.
It was Mum, my Dad has died.
I can only imagine how upset she is right now. They were marrried on July 24th 1957, that's an awful long time to spend with someone.
I have just been sending massages to cousins, but will probably be awake early and ring them before they read the message.
I love my Dad and right now am very upset. 71 is no great age these days.