Just one day left.

I don't know how time has flown so quickly.  I have only one more working day left. I do technically have another week left of my notice, but as it's half term, and I don't work during holidays, that's it.  I am seriously sorry to be leaving a job that I truly love. A colleague did ask me if I was having a leaving do.....no, I'm not. Leaving do's are usually when the person leaving WANTS to leave, and usually has another job lined up. I do not want to leave. I know that I have no say in the matter, and have to keep my own council on certain aspects of it....for now.

Review of 2015

Ah!  What can I say about 2015?
It's been a difficult year in a few ways.
From what I remember about January, there was pain from spinal stenosis, work, and the realisation that Spark was not a well doggie.
February brought a pain management appointment, and I had an injection.  I started knitting a "knit-along" blanket featured in Let's Knit magazine.....I enjoyed making the squares, and when I had completed it some months later, I gave it to Becky.
February was also what I hoped would be the worst month, as I took Spark to see the vet, and with my three the decision was made that it would be kinder to let him go.  Even though that was over ten months ago now, it still upsets me.
February is also the anniversary of Dad's death.
March through to early June was unremarkable, or at least I can't remember anything standing out, other than having a yearly meeting/review of my job.....fairly standard procedure that seemed to go well.......how innocent I can be at times.....rarely looking for ulterior motives for people's actions.
June started off fairly quietly, then the non-teaching staff restructuring was announced.  They laughingly called it a proposed restructure at first, however as the year unfurled, it became clear that they wanted to be rid of certain members of staff, first they "ring-fenced" each section of the non-teaching staff, but removed it when they were told....too late for some, that they couldn't do that, as it was essentially forcing certain people out of work. So....eventually, after voluntary redundancies, there came applying, and subsequent interviews for the remaining posts.  Although it has been claimed to have been a fair process, I don't think that it was, as there were more posts than people, yet it ended with me being made compulsory redundant.
Then, as well as that last bit, December brought named storms, storm Desmond managed to damage the power supply to the area, and we were on generators eventually, and switched back over to mains five days later. There's been another two storms since, again dropping loads of water on already sodden ground.
So.....after all that, I am hoping that 2016 might be kinder to me, and the general population.
There were positive things as well. Edwin graduated, and now has a job. Oliver submitted his thesis, and goes for his Viva on January 13th...  after that he should be a Doctor, a PhD doctor, not a medical one. Samantha is still at the same place, and settled in her new flat. And Becky has started her Masters year.....oh! And Oliver has a job as well.

What an absolute farce!

If what happened this last week, to me, happened in a film, or TV drama, you'd be forgiven for thinking that it was far fetched.
I'm not going into details, and apologise for being cryptic, but why bother doing something that looks like you're being fair, when you have already made your decision beforehand?
I can't elaborate at the moment, maybe I will be able to, given time to come to terms with things.
A new chapter in my life is about to start, and I am, understandably more than a little nervous, but I need to make this work for me.

The final part of the upheavals.

This next week I have three interviews for posts at work. I hope that this time next week I will feel much more secure about my future.
Today's task, which I can't put off any longer, is filling in the application forms. Why we have to do that when the school already has a record of our qualifications, I am not altogether sure. Seems a pointless exercise, I can see the point for supporting statements though.
I'm apprehensive about it, because until they were told to remove the arbitrary ring fencing, I didn't have much option.  All this still feels like a deliberate attempt to get rid of me, and others. But, what they couldn't have anticipated was that some other staff have become so disheartened that they have resigned.
I really do love working where I do, just hate the atmosphere all this has caused.

Getting my facts right.

Following on from Thursday's revelations, I sat down and made a list of facts that I need to find out, options that I need to explore.
I don't want to leave my job.  I love my job, no two days are the same, and quite often I'm asked to do x,y or z, and then left to my own devices as to how I actually do the job. Sometimes I have some guidelines, but often it's as vague as, we need something to do with cross curricular literacy for that noticeboard.  Another couple were filled with, something interesting related to Maths.
It was very interesting to, find an area of maths with something interesting, find an article, make it noticeboard friendly, ( I try to avoid solid chunks of text, as these don't capture the attention of the viewer,) diagrams and colour draw the eye.
I'm trying to stay positive, one colleague has told me that she'd "come knocking on" my door to help her.  It's lovely that the teaching staff are reacting in this way, but I don't think that the powers that be will be swayed.
Also, today I was going to show a student a recipe that might be useful for her exam. She wasn't there, so I made it up anyway, then let other students have some of it, (it was cream of tomato soup, the recipe claims it is the best ever).  The upshot of this was, one other student asked for the recipe, as she would like to make it for her exam.
Would you want to leave a job that gives you such positive vibes??

Waiting for the hatchet to fall

So....Monday of this week all the non-teaching staff get an email with the proposed restructuring of the staff.
My job is not on the new list.  The technician area is five less than currently.
Thursday we had the options laid before us.
If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I have some health issues.  Because of these I think that it might be extremely difficult for me to find another job.
So...I'm currently looking into what my options are, alongside which, I feel like I can't breathe, keep being sick and getting some chest pains, on top of everything else.
Maybe I should get myself signed off with stress, as at this point I really don't know how I got through the past week.
Maybe there will be a silver lining to this particular cloud I have hanging over me, but it's really hard to find it through the constant deluge from it.

How many times?

Every time that I think I am going to be OK, something comes along to make me worry .....yet again.
How many times do I have to prove that I can cope with things when they get tough?
At set periods of time throughout my life I've had to be strong, carry on, and cope. Surely there's been enough of this, but no....just when I start to think that although I might be bored to tears through being on my own, my life isn't so bad, and I might not have to worry about things......something comes along and upsets my calm.
They are restructuring the non-teaching staff structure at work, and we will find out the proposed staffing structure on the 18th.
But, we were emailed this news, not told directly, nor did the person who is named as sending the email the actual author of it!  Pretty bad form really.
I really wish that just for once in my life, I didn't have to worry about things.  I've proved repeatedly that I'm strong, but even the strongest things break if you test them too much.

Back to swimming?

Earlier today I went swimming.  It's the first time I've been for a while, so am rather proud of the fact that I managed to swim 32 lengths, which is 1/2 a mile.  I didn't really stop for any length of time between lengths either, so perhaps I am a little fitter than I thought I was.
I'm going to try to get to the pool at least once a week over the summer break, twice a week would be better.
I have always liked swimming, and if I could carry on swimming at least once a week after I return to work in September I know it will do me good both physically and mentally.

Travel in the snow

OK...my solution only works for certain people...but why not walk to work?  If you live within a couple of miles of your workplace...walking could be the answer!
In doing this you are not only ensuring you will get to work, but you are also reducing your carbon footprint, AND saving your self money.  Plus...walking at a brisk pace is good for your heart.
Therefore, all in all, walking is a very good solution to the people who live within walking distance of their workplace.
By the way, if it would take you longer than an hour to walk from home to work...this solution is not viable, and I would catch a bus if they are running

No respect!

Today, I witnessed an unwarranted verbal attack on a colleague.
Afterwards the colleague was very shaken.
The verbal attack should not have happened....IF the person had gone through the correct channels.
But then again, people who think it is OK to verbally attack, and humiliate others, have little regard for correct procedures.
I went to a member of the management to say I had witnessed the incident, and the colleague did nothing to warrant the verbal abuse.
I hope I never see another colleague humiliated and upset in this way again.
School's are supposed to be secure...and visitors should sign in, and obtain visitor badges...they shouldn't just walk in. This security came in after the Dunblane incident. NORMAL people know the correct way......unfortunately the "nutters" don't, and they are the dangerous one's!

Sorry for the quiet

I haven't blogged much lately as I have been rather unhappy.
My "very good friend", [that is how he describes our relationship,] has gone back to his homeland for a while. he did say he would be back, but not when, and contact is very hit and miss.
Apart from that I have had a spate of illness, and now to cap it all the pressure is being heaped on me again at work, not by the departments I work for, but by the management
So! all in all, unless I have a rant, I haven't been my usual self.
I hope normal service will be resumed soon.

Politics at work?

Just a short post.
Apparently one of the departments I work for, want my predecessor back! Why? Cos she is not as contentious as I am, and is quite willing to take a break and chat, rather than do her job! The person in question is lovely, but it hurts that they would want someone less efficient in place of me!

Don't know if I agree with this.

This article caught my eye today.
Yes, I've read it.
I don't know if stopping hard working Eastern EU people would make any difference to the supposed "unemployment problem".
The jobs were there before the Eastern Europeans came here, they just weren't being done. The wages that some of the work for I happen to know are less than their UK counterparts, yet they manage to have a good living from the wages.
The "unemployment problem" to my mind has not been made worse by Eastern Europeans immigrating, but by many UK "unemployed" not wanting to work for meagre wages. They don't twig that if they only get basic wage they would qualify for working tax credit, possibly.
My special friend works very hard for his wages, working at least 12 hours/day for the best part of six days of the week, he sleeps in the lorry he drives. HGV drivers have to be qualified to drive HGVs, so they are not unqualified. In fact, he is trained as a civil engineer, specialising in heating.
He and many other immigrants from the Eastern EU are educated to as good, if not better level than their contemporaries in the jobs they do here. Also many of them speak more than one language. Learning to speak English is not an easy task, but, perhaps I should leave that for the subject of another blog?
To my knowledge the country is not in possession of a giant time machine, to go back in time and put right what Ed Balls considers they did wrong, but surely the UK can put measures in place to prevent an influx of poorly educated migrants. However, my argument here is, only the better educated will be willing to risk uprooting themselves for a better standard of living, as we continually see by losing our highly trained UK citizens to better paid posts in foreign countries. And..if we curb immigrants, it would be only right that other countries should curb theirs in response. I believe a lot more thought needs to go into any future potential policies. Perhaps it is a good job that even if Ed Balls becomes leader of his party, he will not immediately be PM, but Shadow PM.
Discussion on important policies is necessary between all parties, and I hope our coalition government continues to implement this proposal.

Damn It!

For the last few weeks my ankle has been giving me some trouble. I am waiting for an appointment with the podiatrist. [She has a long waiting list.] I know my orthotics need replacing, as I am getting pain from the opposite knee and hip to my damaged ankle.
I have an appointment on Thursday, this time I will ask her roughly how long the orthotics are lasting, and then I can judge better when to request new ones.
Ankle and joint pain from this is being made worse at the mo by the blood problem. I won't explain other than calcium is absolutely necessary for joint and muscle function, and other stuff besides.
Sorry to grumble, but when you used to be as active as I was......this takes a lot of getting used to.

Edwin's birthday, and other stuff

Today, 27th March is Edwin's birthday. He has friends around, they have calmed down now, and are playing cheat. One of them is falling asleep.
Oliver is back from University for Easter, and I saw my love this morning. So all in all today is a good day.
Colleagues have been upset at work this week by the highest tier of management. If they carry on as they are doing they will alienate 99% of the staff, and when they leave...NO ONE will miss them!
One of the incidents was a very public denunciation of a member of staff, for organising a "staff association"...Senior management are never asked to these meetings. Yet the organiser was told they were not allowed to do that?
One rule for them, another for us? Senior management have regular meetings ...to which none of the other staff are invited. Usually if senior management want to meet with a member of staff...it is best to take your union rep along.

Late Yule celebrations

Yes, you read it correctly.
Last night we eventually managed to have the technician's yule do. We were lacking in numbers, this is why it was so late...every date had a problem. We just went ahead and booked a table at Saffron, an Indian restaurant, for last night.
It ended up only 8 of us, including one technician's girlfriend, but we had a great time, and a good laugh.
I think we should start planning the next Yule do now, then we might get it at the right time of the year.

The other thing of note that has happened since return after half term is ...where I am in the school now. I now work 2 hours in food, 1 in ICT, and 3 in Maths per day. The Maths block is a haven of quiet in a sometimes mad, mad school. Only disrupted at change of lessons.

Being ill

I hate being ill. I always have done, and am a lousy "patient" as I hate not being able to do things for myself.
However, since late last year/early this year I have had to adjust my outlook on things. After finding out I have a heart problem and asthma, I am having to adjust how I approach some things in life. Because of the asthma, certain painkillers can no longer be used, and there are others I couldn't use before, which leaves me with paracetamol.
At the moment I have a really bad wheezy chest that is making me have a barking cough and sore throat, also sending me dizzy when I cough. And when I saw the doc, he said my heart was racing and my temp was far too high. He gave me a course of steroids to take to get rid of the wheezing. They are beginning to ease me a little, but I am sleeping more than 12 hours at a time. And when I am awake I have little or no energy.
So, I suppose from now on, if I feel ill I may have to give in to it straight away rather than fight it. The other thing is, I don't think I'll be fit for work until Friday at the earliest, but if I leave it over the weekend, my strength should have rebuilt more. Before all this I just used to bounce back! Guess those days are over now, or at least until the heart and asthma are properly under control.
I'm sorry about the moan, but all these things are made worse by stress, and right now, although my pay packet doesn't say that I have a stressful job, it is very stressful.

Saturday night again

I know I haven't posted for nearly a week. For a Saturday it is very quiet here. No Eastern Europeans wall walking, no TWOCers, no one dumping cars in the street and running off.
Not much happening at all.
There's no-one really online who I talk to either. Mind you, Old Bean is busy getting stuff packed in case Gustav hits. They are going to a relative's house out of the path of Gustav. When the last biggy hit that area I didn't know anyone there, and it was just stuff on a map. I was disgusted then how slowly the USA central government reacted to the crisis. They send aid swifter to places not in their country, perhaps the illustrious leader was trying to find New Orleans on a world map, little knowing it was in his own country.
Have had a busy week, but not really done anything note worthy. Have been doing some work on the back bedroom for Edwin, but not as much as I'd like, due to adjusting to the tablets the doc has given me. I should be able to get stuck into things soon, or rather work my way through thins slowly but surely.
It's back to work on Tuesday for me. Everything should be quite organised, as I think I got most of the resources ready for DT before the summer. We have a new DT teacher starting, can't remember his surname, but his first name is Ben, tall bloke, not that old.

Erm!

I have to go to the doctor's in the morning. My sick note runs out on Thursday. I know I'm not ready to return to work just yet, due to the problems the insoles are causing me. I know I can't yet stand all day, as my job usually requires me to do. If I had a more sedentary department to work for, I might be able to return, but not yet. I just hope the doctor agrees, as the physiotherapist told me not to walk so much until I've seen him again, and we have looked at other solutions.

I am still here

The last few days have been so busy. I haven't had much time to do this.

The masonry on my house has been painted, around the windows. It looks really nice.

I have been helping Oliver get his things gathered together for Uni.

I've also finished off my mini quilt. Sewn a couple of "Viking hats" in fleece fabric.

Filled the book shelf with books from the boxes in the back room. Been swimming twice,and normal household stuff.

And I've been reading.

I have been keeping myself busy cos I've been signed off work, and it will be until I have had my ankle operation, and recovered, so I'm not looking at short term, probably at least 4 months, maybe 6. So I have not got to let myself get bored.

I have a mental list of jobs I want to get done, and am going to work my way through them. (I don't mean the list is a mad list, just that tizn't written down anywhere.)

I have some fabric I want to make into clothes, it would be nice to sit and knit, and have some wool just waiting to be knitted. Also, I intend to make some more quilts. With a view that in the future I will make bedsized ones. (The picture is of the quilt before I quilted and finished it.)